The wizard? That wizard is a "Thaumaturgist". You don't know what that is? Don't worry, that doesn't make you a Big Dumb Fighter--neither does the wizard.
You know what it actually says in that big fancy book with all the squiggles in it the wizard's always carrying around: It's 5th level, you get fireballs! Your cleric? Your 5th level cleric can Hold (that is: kill) a person three times a day, Cure Wounds just as often and talk to motherfuckers who aren't even alive anymore. And the druid? Any minute you won't even have a druid any more, just a fucking bear. Then a bird flying over the fucking battlements, then a bear again.
Point is: it's 5th level and shit is about to get weird, but don't worry, in this fast-paced crazy mixed-up world you have something on your side, even if there are no new special rules for you in your system.
And that is: you're a goddamn 5th level fighter.
Tell your GM that--be like "Hey Clarence, I'm a goddamn 5th level fighter".
That means Clarence is gonna start saying Yes if he isn't already: Do 20s do double damage? Yes. Does that stack with my strength bonus? Yes. Does it stack with my magic sword bonus? Yes. Is this a magic sword? Yes. If I get extra attacks per round can I decide after the first attack who the target of the second attack is? Yes. Can I trip him with just a to-hit roll against dex? Yes. Disarm? Yes. Fighting retreat? Yes. Keep holding this rope with no save even though I just got hit by a fireball? Yes. Can I tell about how many hit points he has? Yes. Can I carry that while I do that? Yes. Do I get a bonus because I'm on a horse? Yes. Do I get a bonus because they're already fighting someone? Yes. Do the troops believe me? Yes. Will they follow me? Yes. Did I intimidate the palace guard? Yes. Can I keep the wizard from casting a spell if I hit him this round? Yes. In every case: if the answer wasn't already yes, it is now. Because you're a goddamn 5th level fighter, ok?
|Shut the fuck up, Rat|