Comic Book Guy's Razor

Comic Book Guy's Razor Principle

The most insulting possibly explanation is rarely the correct one, but it's the first one you'll hear on the internet.

Self-Loathing Academic Anecdote Corollary (SLAAC) 

...when the evidence for applying the Razor is: "I know because I totally would've totally done the same thing, too, until I, like, grew up, man."

Forgot A Condom Sub-corollary (FACS)

...as SLAAC above, when the evidence of having grown up is that the speaker owns or jizzed in a snatch that produced a human infant.
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Terrain, Weird Sharks, & A Homemade Tank

Somebody asked so here's some of our homemade Warhammer 40k terrain. The picture will get pretty big if you click it.

It's made of random plastic stuff, hamster toys, military model kits, whatever was lying around.

I took a bunch of cameraphone pictures of it, to draw sci fi stuff from

I posted this yesterday but I'm posting it here for scale and so you can see how it's kinda fallen apart

This I didn't make: God did. It's called Helicoprion.

It either went extinct 250 million years or ago or never existed and isn't an exceptionally well-constructed internet hoax.

As you can see, nobody's quite sure what it looked like.

...though they are all sure it was fucked.

Speaking of fucked sharks, God also made this: it's a goblin shark

What exactly were you thinking, God?

It is indeed a lonely creature, being the only remaining representative of the Mitsukurinidae family. That's right: these things are still around.

This tank was made by Syrians.

They control it like this. The world is weird.

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Trying To Remember All The Things That Happened

When last we saw our heroines and that guy Adam, a demilich had taken a book from them and they were mad about it.

YOU CANNOT HAVE A MEANINGFUL CAMPAIGN IF GOATMEN ARE NOT CONSULTED

So then they headed across many hexes and fought a mind flayer on a crawling skull...

....and met a slaad/toad demon who, all things considered, could've been worse.

An invisible assassin followed them and allllmost killed them all while they were playing a boardgame, but Ulorin Vex's unnamed thief had stepped out to loot some innocent goblins and came back just in time to save the party's Silenced, Webbed, Sleep-poisoned cleric and wizard from certain death.

Good job, UV

It was one of those "ok, if you win initiative, you might be able to take her out--she only has 2 hit points left, if I win initiative she'll Magic Missile you and you all die" kind of days. (That is: the best kind of day.) And they won and the party lived.

Next session they spent a long time trawling the wreckage of an old caravan presided over by a junk dealer who had some accent I can't remember...

...they found something. I can't remember what. Man, I suck at recaps, right? Oh wait, I think it was a vortex grenade. Which means I need to write a random table for that.

They then talked to some dwarves about trying to kill Ferox the God Dragon. The dwarves were like Ok, you're crazy.

Then the players hauled off and randomly encountered some Unquiet Worms which are like worms that wear the skins of sorcerers with all the murder that implies. There was a repeat of last week's Total Party Kill Narrowly Averted By Sneaky Rogue event.

Then I went to New York and ran a clean-up mission on the Broodmother Sky Fortress playtest I ran a few months ago in the doomed made-up middle eastern city of Nizahd which was also a mission to find Good King Thrawl of Vornheim* . 50% party kill.

Meanwhile the online party ended up fighting snakemen in a library because they were like "We're sure these snakemen aren't related to the snakemen 10 miles away that we helped genocide" so I was all -roll- -roll- oh actually they totally are.

Then they got out and a crow was about to tell them something but it was 4am and I was tired so I didn't tell them yet...



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*Easter egg for Vornheim fans: Why did Good King Thrawl go missing? John left his character sheet at Roger's house.
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FuckYeahIslandsThatLookLikeDungeons

This is the Greek island of Santorini, aka Thera. Cycladic architecture is dope.

It's a charming resort...

...no, wait, its The Black Drowning Pool of Nith-Nod.

Thirty Things In Post-Apocalyptic New York

(Roll D30)

1. Dead pigs wrapped around dead cows.

2. Airport surrounded by dead trees.

3. Buildings trying to crush each other.

4. Hotel with gleaming (possibly stolen) modernist fixture retrofitted onto a totally neglected frame with duct tape and 2x4s.

5. D4 fat cops, tell PCs that they should keep their hands out of their pockets and that they resemble comic book characters that they don't actually resemble.

6. An artist hanging an art show while being interrupted by telephone calls and a vomiting dog.

7. Grubby sausage-shaped San Rio purse.

8. Socks with holes in them.

9. Unexpected gift from NPC (roll d4) (1) A female barbarian unexpectedly delivers 200 donuts and with serving wenches. (2) Dr Pepper (3) Homemade temporary tattoos (4) Slightly used womens' underwear

10. A formal dinner: the guests discuss the Laurel Canyon Conspiracy. 

11. A cybernetic elephant.

12. A machine gun vending machine.

13. A wall-crawling mutant helps a disoriented woman descend stairs.

14. It appears to be a library but its actually a bar. The bartender belongs to a family that breeds genetically engineered animals. Someone in the bar knows the PCs by their deeds and has slept with the same people.

15. A jealous god slays the World's Fastest Fingers and the Originary Puppetmaster.

16. Actress known for clown porn and blood porn getting in her 5th car crash.

17. People eating cheeseburgers after screaming about death.

18. Man-scorpions holding a midget king prisoner in the center of the ruined city.

19. Behind a featureless room: Another room filled with pheasants, owls and songbirds.

20. Aliens and cripples atop a tall building in the center of the city.

21. Pornographers discussing art history in a japanese living room.

22. Cocaine addicts: (d4) 1-Enemies of PCs 2- Friends of PCs 3-Friends of friends of PCs 4-Power brokers

23. Intellectuals from opposing gangs negotiating a treaty.

24. Dissidents occupying the president's office.

25. A man named "Panther".

26. A woman being filmed while reading a novel and being sexually stimulated covertly by machines.

27. A man giving his car away to a whore for crack--for the second time.

28. A religious zealot being ignored on a train platform

29. Three people watching a video of millions of people watching a man have sex with a pig.

30. A grandmother sending a care package of apocalypse-damaged memorabilia to her son.

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Photo: Clayton Cubitt

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Victory Through Superior Joie De Vivre

6th level drow thief. The blonde kind. 

Baron Vorgus, ex-goblin warlord, now Demilich of Cobalt Reach

The skull represents a skull-walker golem ripped from RIFTS

Used the top of this drawing to take notes during the storming of the gnoll fortress in a recent on-line game

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There Is A Desert

The collaborative hexcrawls keep coming. Here's a desert via Joey and friends.

An oldie but goody to go with it.
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